I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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