she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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