Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
