this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
