She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
