Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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