I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
