just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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