why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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