He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
