i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
