Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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