Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
