Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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