You're so nebulous sometimes
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
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I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She told me I should be a condom model.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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