have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
