sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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