she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
