Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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