Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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