I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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