it was like having sex with a tree stump
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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