Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
