Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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