I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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