No awkward lesbian experiences without me
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
