So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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