I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
