you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I want to fling myself into the sun
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.