I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize