Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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