What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I love you. Go after that dick
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
