I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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