i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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