I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
