I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
