Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
