i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
