I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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