y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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