why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
