I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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