You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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