I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
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he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
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I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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