i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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