You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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