I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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