I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
