plz talk dirty to me
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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