So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
