forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
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She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
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I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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