I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
