I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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