You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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