so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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