You're completely useless in the revolution.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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