His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
