was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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