my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize